If you haven't yet, go check out Spike TV's Deadliest Warrior! New episodes are currently airing Tuesdays at 10p (EDT).The series examines the abilities, weapons + technology and strengths/weaknesses of some of history's most notable warrior-castes, pitting them against each other. There's a great deal of the typical Spike TV vibe (I'm sure that a big heap of cheesy testosteroni will be the first dish on their upcoming cooking show...), but the weapons testing - often against ballistics gel dummy torsos - is intense + informative. And the final act of the show - a recreation of the battle as it would look if it were to ever have happened - is usually quite excellent!
Episodes that've aired thusfar:
- apache v. gladiator
- viking v. samurai
- spartan v. ninja
- pirate v. knight
- yakuza v. mafia
- green beret v. spetznaz
- shaolin monk v. maori warrior
(while I don't want to give away the outcomes of these pairings, c'mon... anybody seen a pile o'moobies about maori warriors? Anybody... ? Anybody out there been able to avoid ever seeing any shaolin kungfu flicks? ...Exactly.)
and airing the next coupla weeks: - william wallace v. shaka zulu
- the i.r.a. v. the taliban (...I'd be stunnd if the I.R.A. didn't win; no 'Murrkin could watch otherwise...)
Good stuff, fun + somewhat educational... sorta. If you can't wait, hit Spike's website, where you can watch episodes, read expert analysis, blog about the show, etc... Kybot + I found the show independent of each other + I figured that made it worth a mention here, to other like-minded folks, many of whom might never bother to check it out, since it's on the same channel as the UFC (which I also enjoy)...
Oh, and go get the new Tortoise CD on 23 June. It fuckin' (post-)rocks!!!
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...but be sure to avoid the incredibly overcheesed 1000 Ways to Die, which seems to've written to appeal to a really sloooooow test group...
ReplyDeleteHere's my guesses at outcomes:
ReplyDelete# apache v. gladiator - gladiator, of course! They've got armor and weren't stuck in the stone age. That's like Guy With Hammer Vs. Cream Pie.
# viking v. samurai - I go with the Samurai, just because the swords are better and they had more armor, but the Vikings would have a size and manuverability advantage. It'd be a good fight.
# spartan v. ninja - Toe to toe, maybe the Spartan, but given a battlefield were the Ninja could do their ninja-thing, I'd go with the Ninja.
# pirate v. knight - Pirates had guns and cannons! Good night, knight!
# yakuza v. mafia - The mafia have more access to guns, but the Yakuza are more ruthless and not as soft-living. So I'd go with yakuza.
# green beret v. spetznaz -- Pretty even matchup, but those Spetznaz guys are some hard motherfuckers. Still, I'm not gonna bet against the US o' A.
# shaolin monk v. maori warrior
(while I don't want to give away the outcomes of these pairings, c'mon... anybody seen a pile o'moobies about maori warriors? Anybody... ? Anybody out there been able to avoid ever seeing any shaolin kungfu flicks? ...Exactly.)
******** I'm going with Shaolin. The Maori seem to mostly try to intimidate their enemies by sticking their tongues out and having a lot of tattoos.
and airing the next coupla weeks:
# william wallace v. shaka zulu
******** Shaka Zulu faired pretty well against an army with guns, so my money's on him.
# the i.r.a. v. the taliban
********** When it comes to religious types warring on each other, I hope for nothing but a long, protracted battle with no survivors. Catholic, Muslim, Baptist, kill each other!